Quote of the Day

The strength and the happiness of a man consists in finding out the way in which God is going, and going in that way too. - Henry Ward Beecher

God makes the Way

In my last post I mentioned how in Paul's writing, it talks about each person being born in the time and the place that God set. He determined that I should be here - now and that you should be there - now.
To continue along that thought, I read in Isaiah 43 that God is the one that makes the way through the sea and a path through the waters. So, He put us here at this time and He will make the way for us, so what is left for us to do? I guess connect with Him regularly (l need like every 10 minutes to stay focused) to find the path He makes for us.

My recovery continues ... last week my pain level decreased most days. I was able to cut back the dosage of my pain meds. But then I had some major pain over the weekend. On Saturday a nerve on the side of my ankle 'woke up' and sent electrical shocks every so often for about 24 hours. It was an area that had been semi-numb since the accident, but never was painful before. I don't know if during the surgery it got disturbed and now it is coming to life, but something sure got it going. If felt as if I was in labor with contractions every so often, but no baby to show for it. (actually that is a good thing) I decided to go to church anyhow, because I couldn't sleep or read at home, plus I figured that is what the enemy wants, me to stay home and pity myself.
Finally last night, because I was totally exhausted (and thanks to pain meds) I was able to sleep . This morning, so far, so good :) I woke up and the nerve is quiet, so I don't want to move, it might start sending painful signals again if I do.

Time and Place

I read in Paul's writing (Acts 17) this morning that God had determined in advance both the time and the place that each person should live ... wow, that is mind-boggling. He determined that I should be here - now and that you should be there - now. Guess it goes to reason, that He must have a purpose for us each in our place at this time. Otherwise it won't matter when or where each person would be born. What might that purpose be ...

Enjoy Life

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. - Eddie Cantor

Here in southeast PA, it is a beautiful day ... sunny, temps in the high 70's. My living room is filled with beautiful spring flowers brought by many wonderful friends. As I looked out the window this morning I saw robins dancing on their spindly little legs and now I hear birds through the open door, singing cheerfully. I plan on spending some of the afternoon on the deck in my lounge chair, enjoying the day! Because I have the opportunity to go through the day slowly and not miss where I am going and why :)

Big Storm?

Saw this quote this morning and my thoughts are along this line today ... "Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is." Yes, this chapter in my recovery, this pain and these crutches are yet another 'storm' ... but God is much bigger and He sees the big picture of all that He can use this for and all I can learn during this time. I want to stop seeing only the storms, instead I want to believe and have more faith in God in the midst of the storms.

Day by Day

Recovering since Thursday has been okay. No major issues ... just taking it easy, taking pain meds and antibiotics. Thankfully, I am not nauseated anymore. I spend my time on the recliner or laying down, with a little walking on my crutches. I have stitches at four different places, two where Dr. Sauer worked on each ankle and two where Dr. Ducic worked on sensitive nerves.

Dr. Sauer stretched the Achilles tendon of my left ankle (non weight-bearing for 6 weeks) and removed two screws from my right ankle. The incision on my right ankle was very sensitive for a day or two, but is now feeling fairly good. So as time goes on, walking on the crutches should be easier.

When I had seen Dr. Ducic back in February, he told me he can either cut or decompress the damaged nerve in my left thigh and he was leaning towards cutting it. That would mean instant relief from the burning pain I have had for over a year (YES)! It would also mean a numb area for the rest of my life. Decompressing the nerve might/should/could relieve the pain, but no guarantees. When I saw him on Wednesday he decided he wanted to try to decompress it because he thought it might work and he didn't want me to have a numb area on my leg for the rest of my life. I was not a happy girl ... I had been planning on waking up from surgery with no burning pain and now he was telling me decompressing might work, he thinks it should, but he couldn't promise me it would. Because decompressing is reopening a damaged nerve, it might not work instantly, but slowly over the next days/weeks/months the pain might get better. And if it doesn't ... then I can come back to him and get the nerve cut at that time. Needless to say, I was not happy to hear he wanted to try this option, but he is the expert and so what could I say.

Today I can say the decompressing did help, I do not have the burning pain, Praise God! I do have some annoying tingling sensations, but they should go away with time as the nerves heal more.

So, day by day I move forward in another chapter of my recovery.

Surgery Report

Surgery went well and we will be home around 7pm today. I am in pain so pray for that.

- posted by josh

Yes, home the same day. Though I was nervous about driving home today, I am now very happy to be back in my house on my recliner. They gave me some type of 18-hour pain med and said that it would be better to drive home today when that was in effect, then tomorrow.

Both parts of the surgery went well and Dr. Sauer didn't have to make as long an incision as he thought he might need to at the ankle, so they released me around 3pm.
Took my meds as soon as I got home, throw them up promptly, tired to eat a little, then took more meds. Staying down for about an hour now.
Pain of left ankle is bad ... it is in a position that is has not been in for about 2 years and held firmly there with a cast.

Forgiveness is not an Event; it is a Way

A few days ago, I read this ... Art is not a Thing; it is a Way.
I have been learning recently ... Forgiveness is not an Event; it is a Way.

Step by step, I am learning that forgiveness is a choice ... that it doesn't just happen on its own. I suppose my unthought-out sense of forgiveness was that it was some event of letting go that would return things to normalcy. That is not the case. Now I am beginning to understand that forgiveness is a journey, a way of being ... not an event. It is not about restoring things to some magical place where the reality of our lives did not happen. It is about relying on the Spirit of God to give me what I need to walk in forgiveness each day. It is also about establishing spiritual practices where I let go of the parts of my soul that are still living in the past. During bad moments it is hard for me to accept all that happened, changed and is challenging in my life. But I don't want to stay there. I want to forgive ... I want to walk in kindness, love and peace. Practicing forgiveness is like a rigorous marathon, but it is freeing. And a practice it is, because there is no 'right' way that brings peace on every step of the journey. But as the quote at the top of this blogsite says .. if I want to take a journey, it starts with a step.

-some thoughts from Time's Fool

Surgery Week

My surgery is this Thursday, the 13th at 8 AM at Georgetown University Hospital in Washington DC.
Jerry and I will head down on Wednesday morning as I have appointments with both specialists in the afternoon. Then I need to be at the hospital at 6 AM on Thursday morning, so we will stay in a hotel that night. Any suggestions in the DC area?
We should have some time to explore some of the city that afternoon and evening ... I am hoping there are still some cherry blossoms left to see as I have never been to DC in the spring. The doctors are assuming I will only have to stay one night, so Jerry will stay down also and then hopefully we will both be home on Friday. I will have a cast and be using crutches. I will need to go back down for follow up visits in two weeks and then every four weeks for a while.

I am thankful I live 'in such a time as this' that there are the skills and technology to help give me more mobility and hopefully less pain. I am even more thankful that I have the hope of comfort and peace from God's spirit in me ... that I don't have to go through this alone.

Enjoying God's presence in solitude

Enjoying God's presence in solitude - by Lance Witt

You were designed to enjoy the presence of God, but that's easier said than done. Everything in our culture seems to keep us from experiencing that solitude. We live in an age of continuous activity that consumes all of our time and attention, but it cannot satisfy our soul. By the way a lot of us live, you would think that we believe the bumper sticker theology that says, "Jesus is coming soon. Look busy."
Hurry is a devious enemy of the soul. In our rush to accomplish much and live life to the fullest, we rob ourselves of some of life's richest moments. Following Jesus cannot be a sprint.
The goal of solitude is not so much to unplug from my crazy world, as it is to change frequencies so that I can hear the Father. But how do we do it? It will take some work and cultivation. Psalm 143: 5-10 gives us a great template for our endeavor.

Psalm 143:5-10 (NIV)

[5]I remember the days of long ago;

I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

[6] I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

[7] Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

[8] Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

[9] Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you.

[10] Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;

may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.