Saturday, January 14, 2006

Dripping like a Faucet

Today my limitations and pain are discouraging me. Damp, dreary weather is one factor ... the pain in my leg is more acute during such weather, but there was something else I could not quite put my finger on. Then I received an email from a dear friend and she included the following from a book she is reading ...

"Chronic illness or pain is not dramatic and some may not see it as life-threatening. Yet the very chronicity itself is like the slow dripping of a faucet. It takes joy from life, no matter if others see it as a minor irritant.
... A great loss feels as if there is a shift, like an earthquake, and you feel yourself staggering because everything is off center. Life is the same, but devastatingly not the same. Shadows are longer, people are more distant, and you can't see the sun some days. It feels as if everything is foreign. You grieve, feel sorry for self, and feel very isolated. Chronic illness or pain requires great courage." ...
'Not One Bird Stopped Singing' by JoAnn Miller

That is it ... that is what I am tired of today ... the continual dripping of the faucet of pain and limitations. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that my physical limits and looks of my leg are here to stay. There are a part of me today and they will be a part of me tomorrow.
Lord, help me accept it all ... I need your love and strength to muffle the 'dripping.'

2 comments:

Beena. said...

Hi..
Greetings from India!
I went through some of your postings. And I feel the pain you are going through..even siting here in central India, the other side of the world.I do pray for you. May God give you the grace to celeberate your limitations like Joni Ereckson Tada.Will keep praying for you.Let me know your name.
I am Beena, 31 year old Psychiatric Social Worker, working for a Christian NGO. I am the wife of George and Mom of Johanna.

a journey said...

Hi Beena,
Thanks for the comment. It is fun to get one from 'the other side of the world' I have a friend, Cathy, leaving for India on Wednesday. She will be teaching at a few events in a couple different areas of India.
Thanks for the prayers,
Do you have a blogging site?
Janet