Another Chapter in my Recovery

I have scheduled a surgery on my left leg ... another chapter in my recovery. It will be in three weeks on Thursday, April 13th at Georgetown University Hospital in Washingtown, DC. I will be in the hospital for a night or two.

After a consultation a few weeks ago, I had to process/pray/think/decide about my options.

This is what will happen, one time in the operating room (I've been there enough:) with two procedures planned ...
Dr. Sauer (orthopedic surgeon, specializing in feet & ankles) will stretch the Achilles tendon and release the joint capsule to give me more movement in my left ankle. I have been confident that I want to have that surgery, but I had some reservations about the surgery on the damaged nerve in my upper leg. Dr. Ducic, a neurologist, said that he could cut the nerve that is giving me a lot of burning pain. I will then have a numb area on my thigh. Though he had assured me it won't affect the function of my leg, I was concerned about that ... because once you cut a nerve it is gone :(

Well, God is good and he provided me with someone to talk to that could give me first hand experience. Jerry's brother-in-law's friend (did you get that:) was injured in an accident about 6 years ago and he had a wound on his upper leg that severed a nerve. He didn't have to decide whether or not to cut it ... it was cut during the accident. I talked to him yesterday and he saw no problem with me having the surgery, because he has no issues with his upper leg functioning properly and the numb spot doesn't bother him at all. He confirmed what Dr. Ducic told me should happen ... the area that is numb is getting smaller as some other nerves of the leg have taken over some of the numb area. Our bodies have been created in an amazing way, to heal themselves. Also, he said he has no pain ... no pain, that is hard to imagine! I know I will still have other aches and pains due to all the injuries I had, but the worst of my pain, the constant burning, is from this damaged nerve.

So after the conversation with him, I called the surgery coordinators and everything is set to happen on the 13th, after that I will have a cast and be on crutches for 6 weeks :( then a walking cast for 6 more weeks and then physical therapy. I have other ways I would rather spend my spring and early summer, but I look forward to the end results.

Since finalizing everything this morning ... I have had a few moments of "I don't want to do this, yes I do, no, yes, maybe ..." But that is just my 'surface feelings' ... I do have peace about it and I want the end result of less pain and more movement (hopefully)

Tomorrow I go for the pre-op tests at my local doctor, so the process begins ...

I ask you for your prayers as I prepare for and go through this process. Thank you.

Forgiveness

It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on. Real Live Preacher

Living Fully Alive

Forgiveness is an ironic thing ... so opposite from what the tapes/thoughts in my head would tell me. If I say something that I realize later was unkind and might have hurt another person, I think that if I don't quite feel forgiven, then I will be 'better' from now on ... like my sense of shame/guilt will make me be 'better' and help me remember not to do that again. When the truth is ... that will bog me down!
If I skip too many days of spending time with God (reading/praying/mediating) or even just being aware of Him as I go through my day, I want to walk around in shame, kicking myself for the lack of self-discipline. But does that make me enjoy spending time with God and seeing Him as the loving Father that He is ... NO! ... it can actually keep me from doing it because I feel so ashamed.

On the other side of the coin, if I ask God for forgivenss (and the person, if the situation merits it) and allow myself to receive it in my spirit, I am free ... free to be the person God wants me to be - free to 'talk' with Him all the time, free to love, to encourage and to forgive others. And living in that freedom, is when I will be fully alive.
The glory of God can be seen in a person living fully alive!

Do not worry

Do not worry ... when you realize that you have not yet arrived. After all, there would be no journey if you had nowhere left to go. Reallivepreacher.com

Missing warm weather

The last few days had been warm ... this morning winter is back. It is in the 30's and cold and windy. I am waiting ... waiting for warmer weather and waiting to hear back from my doctors about the potential surgery. My husband reminds me, "They are busy, you are not their only patient." I know, but I would like to move forward with this.

This cold weather makes me miss Florida, so here are some pictures from my trip down there in January.

Jonathan loves to feed (torment) the seagulls.

The mug says on "life is good"

sunset

A-Journey

Last evening, I heard an amazing woman speak ... Lori Todaro. This is a woman that has dealt with too many losses in her life and yet she moves forward triumphantly. She knows 'it is not all about her' but as she so passionately told us 'it is all about God and His plan'. And our part of that is to make a positive difference in people's lives we come into contact with.
She has four sons and one of them suffers from a rare genetic disorder known as Periodic Fever Syndrome. Her days are filled with doctor visits, shots, watching him in pain, meds, trying to find the best treatment for him, etc. and yet she has time to connect with the clerks in Wal-mart if they look like they are having a bad day. What a woman!

Check out her website ... www.a-journey.com
(check that out! Her website name is the same as my blogsite:)

Here's a paragraph from in her book ...

My enthusiasm for life has been strength for me. I embrace each day. I am glad I am able to do that. Someone recently said to me, “I admire how you never give up!” I was touched by that comment, but I was also a little puzzled. What choice do I have? My dad is dead! My son is sick! My mom is gone! What choice do I have? If I don’t embrace each day, what message am I sending to my boys? What environment am I creating for my husband? What kind of friend would I be? More importantly, what kind of Christian would I be? Believing that I will see my parents again and knowing that God will take care of my son and our family, why would I not rejoice and celebrate each day? - Lori Todaro

Ice Photos

This was the world in our area yesterday morning. We had a combination of rain/ice/sleet overnight and as the sun came out, this is how the trees looked. Reminds me of scenes from 'The Chronicles of Narnia'.

Clear Vision

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ...
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. - Carl Jung

Through-out each of our lives, we are on many different journeys ... education, marriage, careers, parenting ... just to mention a few. Those are all good and wonderful journeys and each of those journeys will be enhanced if we are brave enough to take the journey inward to our own hearts. To take the time to stop, wait, rest ... to be still and know that God is God and that He wants to speak to each of us. We are His precious creation, created in His image.