Forgiveness is an ironic thing ... so opposite from what the tapes/thoughts in my head would tell me. If I say something that I realize later was unkind and might have hurt another person, I think that if I don't quite feel forgiven, then I will be 'better' from now on ... like my sense of shame/guilt will make me be 'better' and help me remember not to do that again. When the truth is ... that will bog me down!
If I skip too many days of spending time with God (reading/praying/mediating) or even just being aware of Him as I go through my day, I want to walk around in shame, kicking myself for the lack of self-discipline. But does that make me enjoy spending time with God and seeing Him as the loving Father that He is ... NO! ... it can actually keep me from doing it because I feel so ashamed.
On the other side of the coin, if I ask God for forgivenss (and the person, if the situation merits it) and allow myself to receive it in my spirit, I am free ... free to be the person God wants me to be - free to 'talk' with Him all the time, free to love, to encourage and to forgive others. And living in that freedom, is when I will be fully alive.
The glory of God can be seen in a person living fully alive!
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