Last evening, I heard an amazing woman speak ... Lori Todaro. This is a woman that has dealt with too many losses in her life and yet she moves forward triumphantly. She knows 'it is not all about her' but as she so passionately told us 'it is all about God and His plan'. And our part of that is to make a positive difference in people's lives we come into contact with.
She has four sons and one of them suffers from a rare genetic disorder known as Periodic Fever Syndrome. Her days are filled with doctor visits, shots, watching him in pain, meds, trying to find the best treatment for him, etc. and yet she has time to connect with the clerks in Wal-mart if they look like they are having a bad day. What a woman!
Check out her website ... www.a-journey.com
(check that out! Her website name is the same as my blogsite:)
Here's a paragraph from in her book ...
My enthusiasm for life has been strength for me. I embrace each day. I am glad I am able to do that. Someone recently said to me, “I admire how you never give up!” I was touched by that comment, but I was also a little puzzled. What choice do I have? My dad is dead! My son is sick! My mom is gone! What choice do I have? If I don’t embrace each day, what message am I sending to my boys? What environment am I creating for my husband? What kind of friend would I be? More importantly, what kind of Christian would I be? Believing that I will see my parents again and knowing that God will take care of my son and our family, why would I not rejoice and celebrate each day? - Lori Todaro
Friday, March 10, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Ice Photos
This was the world in our area yesterday morning. We had a combination of rain/ice/sleet overnight and as the sun came out, this is how the trees looked. Reminds me of scenes from 'The Chronicles of Narnia'.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Clear Vision
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ...
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. - Carl Jung
Through-out each of our lives, we are on many different journeys ... education, marriage, careers, parenting ... just to mention a few. Those are all good and wonderful journeys and each of those journeys will be enhanced if we are brave enough to take the journey inward to our own hearts. To take the time to stop, wait, rest ... to be still and know that God is God and that He wants to speak to each of us. We are His precious creation, created in His image.
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. - Carl Jung
Through-out each of our lives, we are on many different journeys ... education, marriage, careers, parenting ... just to mention a few. Those are all good and wonderful journeys and each of those journeys will be enhanced if we are brave enough to take the journey inward to our own hearts. To take the time to stop, wait, rest ... to be still and know that God is God and that He wants to speak to each of us. We are His precious creation, created in His image.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Opinions from Specialists
I love the wacky, unplanned way life works sometimes ... unplanned to me, but not unplanned to God, I assume.
Right before Christmas I was shopping and ran into Martha. Martha is a women that I causally knew over the past decade or so. She is a friend of a friend and she used to shop at our garden center. Then in late 2004, when I was doing physical therapy, Martha was also doing therapy for a hip issue she was dealing with. We didn't connect a lot during therapy because it took most of my energy to concentrate on what I needed to do, but we had the connection of health issues.
As we stopped and talked in December, I was happy to hear that a surgery had taken care of the pain she had been dealing with for some time. She encouraged me to check out Georgetown University at Washington DC where she had the surgery done that gave her relief.
Last week, Jerry and I took the trek to DC for opinions on what, if anything can be done for my left leg. There are three issues I want addressed ... the pain in my thigh from the damaged nerves, the limited range of motion in my ankle and my scared/deformed calf.
I had an appointment with Dr. Ducic - a reconstructive plastic surgeon that also specializes in chronic post-traumatic pain. I also wanted to see Dr. Attinger, the head of the reconstructive plastic surgery department. He was on call in the ER that day, but his nurse said she would have him called up if he was not tied up at the time I was there.
To make a long story short ... by four in the afternoon, I had seen not one, not two, but three specialists. Someone other than me was planning the day! The third doctor I saw was Dr. Sauer, an orthopedic surgeon that specializes in feet and ankles. After having him recommended by Dr. Ducic and Dr. Attinger as the orthopedic surgeon that could help bring more movement to my ankle, I walked into his office just as his nurse hung up the phone from a late afternoon cancellation :)
Dr. Sauer can do a surgery to stretch my Achilles tendons and loosen up my ankle joint that would give me more range of motion and make walking easier. The recovery from this surgery is a process that involves a cast for 6 weeks and no weight on my foot for that time ... so back on crutches :( and after that back to physical therapy.
Dr. Ducic feels as if most of my thigh pain is from one 'nerve branch'. He can perform a surgery that will deaden the nerve and that should take care of the pain, though I will have some numb areas on my thigh. Numbness beats pain anyday :)
Dr. Ducic and Dr. Attinger feel as if the risks are too high to do surgery to improve the look of my left calf. The leg and foot is very compromised from the lose of so much soft tissue (picture of leg ) that a surgery would put me in danger of infections and/or blood clots that could lead to the lose of the foot. After all I have been through, I don't want to risk that either, I can learn to live with the way it looks.
Both procedures, nerve and ankle, can be done at the same time during one visit to the operating room and would require a few nights spent in the hospital. Pray for me as I process/think/plan for all this.
The one thing God did for me through-out the day was remind me of the miracles that happened for me to be where I am today. All the doctors (and their assistants) were amazed due to the size of the injury that my foot did not have to be amputated at the time of the accident and how well it functions now. Their amazement brought me humbly and gratefully to God in thankfulness. He is a good God ... I need to focus on what I have, not on what I lost!
So I praise this wacky, unplanned life ...
-Martha going shopping that night in December
-Finding a doctor that specializes in lower leg injuries
-Seeing three doctors in one day
-Hope for freedom from pain
THANK YOU GOD!
Right before Christmas I was shopping and ran into Martha. Martha is a women that I causally knew over the past decade or so. She is a friend of a friend and she used to shop at our garden center. Then in late 2004, when I was doing physical therapy, Martha was also doing therapy for a hip issue she was dealing with. We didn't connect a lot during therapy because it took most of my energy to concentrate on what I needed to do, but we had the connection of health issues.
As we stopped and talked in December, I was happy to hear that a surgery had taken care of the pain she had been dealing with for some time. She encouraged me to check out Georgetown University at Washington DC where she had the surgery done that gave her relief.
Last week, Jerry and I took the trek to DC for opinions on what, if anything can be done for my left leg. There are three issues I want addressed ... the pain in my thigh from the damaged nerves, the limited range of motion in my ankle and my scared/deformed calf.
I had an appointment with Dr. Ducic - a reconstructive plastic surgeon that also specializes in chronic post-traumatic pain. I also wanted to see Dr. Attinger, the head of the reconstructive plastic surgery department. He was on call in the ER that day, but his nurse said she would have him called up if he was not tied up at the time I was there.
To make a long story short ... by four in the afternoon, I had seen not one, not two, but three specialists. Someone other than me was planning the day! The third doctor I saw was Dr. Sauer, an orthopedic surgeon that specializes in feet and ankles. After having him recommended by Dr. Ducic and Dr. Attinger as the orthopedic surgeon that could help bring more movement to my ankle, I walked into his office just as his nurse hung up the phone from a late afternoon cancellation :)
Dr. Sauer can do a surgery to stretch my Achilles tendons and loosen up my ankle joint that would give me more range of motion and make walking easier. The recovery from this surgery is a process that involves a cast for 6 weeks and no weight on my foot for that time ... so back on crutches :( and after that back to physical therapy.
Dr. Ducic feels as if most of my thigh pain is from one 'nerve branch'. He can perform a surgery that will deaden the nerve and that should take care of the pain, though I will have some numb areas on my thigh. Numbness beats pain anyday :)
Dr. Ducic and Dr. Attinger feel as if the risks are too high to do surgery to improve the look of my left calf. The leg and foot is very compromised from the lose of so much soft tissue (picture of leg ) that a surgery would put me in danger of infections and/or blood clots that could lead to the lose of the foot. After all I have been through, I don't want to risk that either, I can learn to live with the way it looks.
Both procedures, nerve and ankle, can be done at the same time during one visit to the operating room and would require a few nights spent in the hospital. Pray for me as I process/think/plan for all this.
The one thing God did for me through-out the day was remind me of the miracles that happened for me to be where I am today. All the doctors (and their assistants) were amazed due to the size of the injury that my foot did not have to be amputated at the time of the accident and how well it functions now. Their amazement brought me humbly and gratefully to God in thankfulness. He is a good God ... I need to focus on what I have, not on what I lost!
So I praise this wacky, unplanned life ...
-Martha going shopping that night in December
-Finding a doctor that specializes in lower leg injuries
-Seeing three doctors in one day
-Hope for freedom from pain
THANK YOU GOD!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Coming Home from Florida
I have a friend Bev, in Morgantown, that has a house in Florida near Orlando. They use the house mostly for her husband's workers that work in Florida during the winter. She goes down a few times a year and she coordinated her trip with mine this year. So along with spending time with my parents, I spent the weekend at her house ... it was a fun, relaxing time. Then she and her son Bennet, traveled home with us on Wednesday.
The flight home was interesting ... we were quite the entourage in the airport. My sister, Rosene has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair, Jonathan (age 12), Bev, Bennet (almost 2) and myself with my leg issues.
Even though we had more carry-on bags than we needed (how much is really needed for a 2 1/2 hour flight?) I still had to add a coffee from Starbucks to the mix. When leaving Philly, I only had to show my photo ID one time. The security officials at Tampa Airport are either more suspicious or more cautious because I had to show my ID to a million different officials at different checkpoints and each time I put it back into my wallet and then into my backpack purse and then put the purse back on my back, because I thought it would be the last time. So, yes each time they needed to see it I had to do the process all over again. While going through security we were taken in all different directions. Because you can't trust anyone, my poor sister Rosene in a wheelchair always gets a total 'pat-down' by an officer (female). Bev and Bennet were taken to another area because of his stroller. Meanwhile Jon and I put everything, except 'one layer of clothes on our backs' in the generic gray tubs and then on the other side of the metal detectors we reassembled everything ... put our sweatshirts back on, Jon takes his game boy and CD player, each in their own carrying case, I put my backpack purse on (for the zillionth time) Jon gets his backpack, I take the camera case, Jon takes the tote bag, I get Rosene's tote bag and of course, my cup of coffee. During the last time I had to show my ID, I set the coffee down and there was a connection between a toy and my cup, and that wonderful, slightly sweetened, with a shake or two of cinnamon, just-right cup of Starbucks coffee is now decorating the carpet at the Tampa airport :(
Announcement ... the plane is delayed ...
Thankfully for only 15 minutes.
Bev gets nauseated while flying and I was having pain, slightly more than normal, but after each of us had fueled up on our medications of choice, we have a fairly peaceful and uneventful flight home after the circus at the airport. I even successfully complete a few Sudoku puzzles ... don't ask me why, but that is a satisfying sense of accomplishment.
Thankfully when we arrive in Philly, there is an electrical cart in the corridor and the driver cheerfully takes us and our 'stuff' almost to baggage and after a short walk, we are there and see Jerry already collecting our bags. Thank you God!
The flight home was interesting ... we were quite the entourage in the airport. My sister, Rosene has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair, Jonathan (age 12), Bev, Bennet (almost 2) and myself with my leg issues.
Even though we had more carry-on bags than we needed (how much is really needed for a 2 1/2 hour flight?) I still had to add a coffee from Starbucks to the mix. When leaving Philly, I only had to show my photo ID one time. The security officials at Tampa Airport are either more suspicious or more cautious because I had to show my ID to a million different officials at different checkpoints and each time I put it back into my wallet and then into my backpack purse and then put the purse back on my back, because I thought it would be the last time. So, yes each time they needed to see it I had to do the process all over again. While going through security we were taken in all different directions. Because you can't trust anyone, my poor sister Rosene in a wheelchair always gets a total 'pat-down' by an officer (female). Bev and Bennet were taken to another area because of his stroller. Meanwhile Jon and I put everything, except 'one layer of clothes on our backs' in the generic gray tubs and then on the other side of the metal detectors we reassembled everything ... put our sweatshirts back on, Jon takes his game boy and CD player, each in their own carrying case, I put my backpack purse on (for the zillionth time) Jon gets his backpack, I take the camera case, Jon takes the tote bag, I get Rosene's tote bag and of course, my cup of coffee. During the last time I had to show my ID, I set the coffee down and there was a connection between a toy and my cup, and that wonderful, slightly sweetened, with a shake or two of cinnamon, just-right cup of Starbucks coffee is now decorating the carpet at the Tampa airport :(
Announcement ... the plane is delayed ...
Thankfully for only 15 minutes.
Bev gets nauseated while flying and I was having pain, slightly more than normal, but after each of us had fueled up on our medications of choice, we have a fairly peaceful and uneventful flight home after the circus at the airport. I even successfully complete a few Sudoku puzzles ... don't ask me why, but that is a satisfying sense of accomplishment.
Thankfully when we arrive in Philly, there is an electrical cart in the corridor and the driver cheerfully takes us and our 'stuff' almost to baggage and after a short walk, we are there and see Jerry already collecting our bags. Thank you God!
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Florida
I am enjoying some warmer weather right now. My parents go to Florida for a few months each winter. Last Saturday my sister, my son Jonathan and I flew down for twelve days. We have spent a few great days on the beach ... weather was sunny and near 80's. Now the last few days have been rainy and in the high 60's. Hopefully we will have a few more nice days before Wednesday when we fly home.
I just finished watching the movie 'The End of the Spear'. If you have a chance, to see it!! Great movie ... sad, but good.
I just finished watching the movie 'The End of the Spear'. If you have a chance, to see it!! Great movie ... sad, but good.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Faith in the Unknown
I have been asking questions since the day I could talk ... and I like answers to everything. My thought used to be, if I just keep asking, searching, reading ... someone, somewhere should somehow be able to answer all my questions. Lately I have been hearing another message from a few different sources. It is refreshing and helping me find a balance.
First: Audrey is a spiritual Mother to me ... she told me after the accident that she will walk with me and help me process this part of my journey. She graciously listens, she introduces me to great authors and she shares her life experience (both positive and negative) with me. Recently she has been talking about the 'mysteries' of life ... she said that there will always be mysteries, things that we will not understand or questions that we will not have answered.
Second: Out of the mouth of babes ... my big, strapping, handsome, thoughtful son. He recently shared some of his thoughts at an event with other teens. He is tired of people that feel as if they have to have an answer for everything, especially in the things that are not of this world. He feels there are some things we, as puny humans, will not have answers to. He said that believers are especially quilty of this ... talking about their 'faith' all the time and yet, wanting and/or acting as if they have all the answers. He concluded with this ... if all the answers were known, we would not need faith.
Okay, the same message from both generations around me ... now if I will listen and learn from those older and those younger. And also learn to be comfortable with "I don't know."
Sometimes it is still hard to get my mind around the fact and the ways of God. In my spirit ... yes He is real. But sometimes, He's not real in my head. Go through a typical day and life is tangible. It is real ... I see, smell, hear, feel and taste many things all day.
But there is another world that is not so tangible and not so clear ... I don't connect with it in the physical ways that I do this world. Instead it is a connection with my spirit ... a feeling within ... a sense that there is more than this ... a belief in the things not seen, heard, felt, smelled and tasted with my physical body. That belief or faith is what allows me to see God all around me, to see His fingerprints on my life, even in the mysteries.
First: Audrey is a spiritual Mother to me ... she told me after the accident that she will walk with me and help me process this part of my journey. She graciously listens, she introduces me to great authors and she shares her life experience (both positive and negative) with me. Recently she has been talking about the 'mysteries' of life ... she said that there will always be mysteries, things that we will not understand or questions that we will not have answered.
Second: Out of the mouth of babes ... my big, strapping, handsome, thoughtful son. He recently shared some of his thoughts at an event with other teens. He is tired of people that feel as if they have to have an answer for everything, especially in the things that are not of this world. He feels there are some things we, as puny humans, will not have answers to. He said that believers are especially quilty of this ... talking about their 'faith' all the time and yet, wanting and/or acting as if they have all the answers. He concluded with this ... if all the answers were known, we would not need faith.
Okay, the same message from both generations around me ... now if I will listen and learn from those older and those younger. And also learn to be comfortable with "I don't know."
Sometimes it is still hard to get my mind around the fact and the ways of God. In my spirit ... yes He is real. But sometimes, He's not real in my head. Go through a typical day and life is tangible. It is real ... I see, smell, hear, feel and taste many things all day.
But there is another world that is not so tangible and not so clear ... I don't connect with it in the physical ways that I do this world. Instead it is a connection with my spirit ... a feeling within ... a sense that there is more than this ... a belief in the things not seen, heard, felt, smelled and tasted with my physical body. That belief or faith is what allows me to see God all around me, to see His fingerprints on my life, even in the mysteries.
Monday, January 23, 2006
'Fingerprints of God'
I am doing a study for 8 weeks called 'Fingerprints of God' by Jennifer Rothschild. This week is focused on God creating us as His Masterpiece and on the fact that he sees us, hears us and wants us to recognize His touch in our lives.
When God created the natural world and the animals, He spoke it all into being ... He said "Let it be" and it was. When He was ready to create mankind, He took dust from the ground and 'formed' man and then He breathed into his nostrils the 'breath or spirit' of life. With His voice, He created everything, except us ... for us, His masterpiece ... He 'touched' us. How neat is that? To think that the mighty creator of the world formed mankind into being with His hands! And now, our lives still have His fingerprints on them, we just need to recognize and receive them.
And everyone I meet is created by God's touch ... everyone has some of the 'image of God' in them. Even if they are actively denying Him, that doesn't change the fact that they were created by His touch. I need to honor everyone as a person because they are His creation, even if they don't recognize Him at this time.
Obviously, I will not agree with or like everything about everyone, so I need to learn how to disagree and yet honor at the same time ... help me, Lord.
When God created the natural world and the animals, He spoke it all into being ... He said "Let it be" and it was. When He was ready to create mankind, He took dust from the ground and 'formed' man and then He breathed into his nostrils the 'breath or spirit' of life. With His voice, He created everything, except us ... for us, His masterpiece ... He 'touched' us. How neat is that? To think that the mighty creator of the world formed mankind into being with His hands! And now, our lives still have His fingerprints on them, we just need to recognize and receive them.
And everyone I meet is created by God's touch ... everyone has some of the 'image of God' in them. Even if they are actively denying Him, that doesn't change the fact that they were created by His touch. I need to honor everyone as a person because they are His creation, even if they don't recognize Him at this time.
Obviously, I will not agree with or like everything about everyone, so I need to learn how to disagree and yet honor at the same time ... help me, Lord.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Dripping like a Faucet
Today my limitations and pain are discouraging me. Damp, dreary weather is one factor ... the pain in my leg is more acute during such weather, but there was something else I could not quite put my finger on. Then I received an email from a dear friend and she included the following from a book she is reading ...
"Chronic illness or pain is not dramatic and some may not see it as life-threatening. Yet the very chronicity itself is like the slow dripping of a faucet. It takes joy from life, no matter if others see it as a minor irritant.
... A great loss feels as if there is a shift, like an earthquake, and you feel yourself staggering because everything is off center. Life is the same, but devastatingly not the same. Shadows are longer, people are more distant, and you can't see the sun some days. It feels as if everything is foreign. You grieve, feel sorry for self, and feel very isolated. Chronic illness or pain requires great courage." ... 'Not One Bird Stopped Singing' by JoAnn Miller
... A great loss feels as if there is a shift, like an earthquake, and you feel yourself staggering because everything is off center. Life is the same, but devastatingly not the same. Shadows are longer, people are more distant, and you can't see the sun some days. It feels as if everything is foreign. You grieve, feel sorry for self, and feel very isolated. Chronic illness or pain requires great courage." ... 'Not One Bird Stopped Singing' by JoAnn Miller
That is it ... that is what I am tired of today ... the continual dripping of the faucet of pain and limitations. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that my physical limits and looks of my leg are here to stay. There are a part of me today and they will be a part of me tomorrow.
Lord, help me accept it all ... I need your love and strength to muffle the 'dripping.'
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
How we spend our days
How we spend our days is - of course - how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard
I guess that is true ... it is a dreary, cloudy day and when I am 95 and look back over my life I will be happy to remember that I spent as many of the dreary days as I could reading/writing with a strong cup of coffee nearby. Then ending the day with some good, hearty soup for dinner. (anyone cooking?)
I am happy to now be in my recliner with a blanket doing just that, as I spent the first half of the day helping my seventeen year old son buy his first car. He is now an official, bona-fide car owner ... he is the only one on the title and the insurance. It is a ten year old car, but he is happy with it and it is all paid with cash that he has earned over the past few years. It is an odd feeling being his mother today ... it should make him feel all mature and grown up and it is, but it is also making me feel all mature and grown up. I didn't expect that.
I guess that is true ... it is a dreary, cloudy day and when I am 95 and look back over my life I will be happy to remember that I spent as many of the dreary days as I could reading/writing with a strong cup of coffee nearby. Then ending the day with some good, hearty soup for dinner. (anyone cooking?)
I am happy to now be in my recliner with a blanket doing just that, as I spent the first half of the day helping my seventeen year old son buy his first car. He is now an official, bona-fide car owner ... he is the only one on the title and the insurance. It is a ten year old car, but he is happy with it and it is all paid with cash that he has earned over the past few years. It is an odd feeling being his mother today ... it should make him feel all mature and grown up and it is, but it is also making me feel all mature and grown up. I didn't expect that.
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