Turns in the Path of Life

The path of life has many turns - and one thing about turns is that we should always keep learning or we'll get lost and confused. Sometimes I learn things fast and other times, I learn incredibly slow - slow like the coffee pot on an early morning.

One thing I heard often as I was trying to come to grips with lifelong effects from injuries were the words of Romans 8:28, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him ..."

Being slow to learn at times, plus being medicated for a few years post accident, caused me to be confused about this verse. This is what I used to think - God is good and God works in all things, so all things are good.

But I didn't feel good, I hurt! I had constant pain. I was tired all the time. My scared legs made me sad. I couldn't do what I used to do.

Because I was suffering - other suffering in the world lay heavy on me. (hint, don't share stories of suffering with someone that is suffering)

And I was to see all this as good?

No, it wasn't good and if God is 'good' like this, why should I love and/or follow him?

There were many steps and turns to a new understanding of that verse. Here’s one step in that process. I’m always open to learn more - hear me out, then share your thoughts.

One day, I heard a wise man say, "God does work all things for good, but that doesn't mean all things are good!" - Dr. Art Wilt

Physically, I had been saved by paramedics - now spiritually, I was saved by Dr. Art, my pastor who used to be a paramedic. I began to understand how backwards I had been looking at that verse.

Accidents/injuries/diseases/abuse/bad choices - none are good! But God is love and God is good and he has the power to make something good come from them. I can be real and honest about the disappointments and pain of life - I don’t need to pretend or force myself to think its good, when its not!

God is good and God is love - he doesn't cause all things to happen, but he can use something from all things for good. This thought made me want to seek him again and ask him what good can come from this nasty turn in my life.

I’ve learned a lot and have seen good come from it. I still wish I could have learned what I learned in another way, but I'm content to trust him to show me what good can continue to come from it.

Your thoughts?

Photo -Siesta Beach, FL 2007

Trusting God ... even when in pain

Recently, I had corrective surgery on my foot to repair an injured tendon. Prior to surgery, I had two consultations with the surgeon, and I must have tuned out or been thinking about dinner during his conversations about recovery. So, on the day of surgery, I nonchalantly walked into the hospital under the impression that since the surgery was minor, the pain and recovery would be minor as well.
The surgery went as planned and I was waiting for my discharge papers 3 hours later. That is when I realized I had missed a few details. The nurse read the instructions as she handed me the papers … “fill the prescription for pain meds, don’t unwrap the dressing until you see the doctor again … and do you have crutches?”

“Wait a minute, are you sure those are my discharge papers? Because my post-op visit isn’t for 16 days … so what about showers? I don’t like meds and I don’t remember the doctor saying anything about crutches.”

“Yes dear, these are your papers … that dressing can’t get wet, so no showers. I think you will want to fill that prescription and use the crutches,” she gently responded.

As I transferred into the wheelchair for the ride to the car, I soon realized that any movement caused so much pain in my foot that it felt like a knife was cutting me. A suspicion started to grow … I think the doctor left the surgical knife in the incision!
When we got home, I had no choice but to use my crutches to go inside. (collecting medical supplies has been a hobby the past four years) I also asked my husband how fast he could get to the pharmacy and back again! The first night was so miserable that I was sure the surgery was a mistake. At times, I felt as if I needed to tear the dressing off and remove that painful knife!
Over the next few days, I did as little as I had to and I continually thanked God that my doctor had prescribed a strong painkiller. My suspicion about the knife continued to grow, especially as I slowly hobbled on my crutches. I could even picture it … about three inches in length and about an inch wide. From time to time, I had to look at my foot to reassure myself that there was no knife cutting through it.
After the first week, it finally felt better and I tentatively put some weight on my heel as the pain allowed me. By the time I went to my post-op visit; I was hobbling on my heel without the crutches.
Now as I walk with less pain and resistance, I am thankful that I couldn’t change my mind about the surgery in those first pain-filled days.

As I reflect back on those few weeks, I realize how often I do the same thing when I want to change a behavior, start a project or restore a strained relationship. I begin the process without properly preparing myself for all that is involved. The details bore me or I don’t think they apply to me. Then when things don’t happen as easily as I would like them to, I want to give up. I even give into suspicions about why things are harder then I anticipated. It has to be because of my circumstances or something others did or said. Lord knows, it would just be easier if she/he hadn’t put that ‘knife’ in there.
I need to accept the fact that change takes time and may involve pain. Only then can I embrace the process and stick to the choices that help me get the result I want. I’ve also been reminded to not give into suspicions that can easily derail a successful plan. If I had ripped open my dressing to take out the suspicious knife … the process would have taken much longer.
As I move through my days now … with a healed foot, I try to remember to not only embrace, but to prepare myself for the slow, sometimes painful, process that is needed to deal with certain issues in life and to trust God, even when in pain.

Growing

Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure

nor this thing nor that

but simply growth.
We are happy when we are growing.

-William Butler Yeats

So many people walk around with a meaningless life.
They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things.

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others,

devote yourself to your community around you,

and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

- Morrie Schwartz