Tonight I was reminded (again) that words alone aren't always enough. Most times, they need to be accompanied by actions! Just saying I'm sorry can be easy - backing it up with actions, that's harder.
I had a time (words/actions - it was ugly) with a loved one that I should not have had. I know better. It was wrong. I should have taken a higher road.
It's so stinking hard to look at my own 'ugly' and then once I've see it, to know how to deal with it. "I'm sorry" helped - but my following actions (or lack thereof) spoke louder than any words I said.
God - I'm so sorry!
Thank you that I can continually learn and grow. Thank you that I can ask for wisdom from you. And God, please help me recognize wisdom when I feel/see/hear it.
It's so stinking hard to look at my own 'ugly' and then once I've see it, to know how to deal with it. "I'm sorry" helped - but my following actions (or lack thereof) spoke louder than any words I said.
God - I'm so sorry! 
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4 comments:
Janet-
Funny how God works...I have spent the last few months facing the "ugly side of me" (it's what I started calling it) I am now ready to be done.... but seems there is still more hashing for God and I to do... Sorry doesn't fix, sometimes actions don't either. Sometimes we may have to accept that our mistakes left it unfixable in human eyes-not unforgiven in God's eyes though~and that is what I cling to when the "ugly side of me" seems to be winning!
I found you through the Bloom ring or ning thing...very inspired with your story.
Great post, this has been on my mind lately too and in my Bible study, so I guess God is trying to tell me something. Better start listening and applying.
BTW...the picture reminds me of Jonah, but I like it.
Thanks for that post, Janet. It hit home for me--words PLUS actions can help negate our "uglies." As I get older I am realizing that those I thought had the perfect lives also have their dark sides, as we at my house have had. The important thing that I've learned is that family truly sticks together and forgives. Some "family" members also show their true colors and cease to be in the fold, while friends step up to the plate and show us that "family" does not necessarily connotate blood.
Yes, Shelly - agree, I'm done looking at my ugly - enough already :) And yet, recognizing my ugly is what will allow help and healing to come.
Deborah, nice to 'meet' you. Hadn't thought of Jonah, but you are so right - sitting under the tree.
IceMama - so true, no perfect people or families out there. Forgiving and good communication (which I have a long way to go on!) goes a long way in healing relationships.
It's good to know I am not alone - thanks for your comments!
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