Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Sister Rosene - Trusting

If you found your way here while strolling through the carnival, 
Welcome - glad to have you!

Today I'm joining a Blog Carnival for the first time. A blog carnival is when a group of bloggers all write about the same word - today its trust. One blogger is the host for the day and there are links to everyone that has participated on that blog. Today's host is Bridget Chumbley - after you read my post, you can go to her blog to read more posts about trust. 

Trusting - even when we don't like our current situation and we don't know what the future holds. That was what my sister Rosene did. She trusted that God would help her everyday and she trusted that after she died - she'd not only be walking, but be dancing! 
Trust was hard for her at times. Born with Cerebral Palsy, she had more questions than answers over the years. Why did she have all the limitations she did? Why couldn't she walk out to a car and easily open the door and sit down? Why couldn't she pick up a piece of pizza and steadily put it in her mouth as she saw all of us do? Along with CP, why did she have impaired vision and couldn't read anything unless it was in a super-sized font?  The list goes on and on and on ...

Those weren't just her questions, they were mine too. Her and I had numerous conversations about trusting God. She listened to many audio books and teachings, so we were equal partners in the discussions. We didn't always agree. And she was annoyed if I patronized her by being soft on her if I disagreed. Iron sharpens iron and our conversations stretched both of us.

We agreed that God is love and is our creator, so we can always trust that he has our best in mind. We agreed that all things can work together for good, but that doesn't mean all things are good. We agreed that CP was not good! We disagreed about whether he created her with CP or it was a result of living in a fallen world.

We also agreed that there will always be mysteries, we won't always agree or have answers to all our questions. Watching her live life trusting in God and writing about his love and goodness, even with mysteries and unanswered questions helped me trust, especially when I went through tough times.

One definition of Trust is:  confident expectation of something; hope.

Rosene had that and it showed by how she lived her life. She didn't wallow in self-pity, because she trusted that someday things would be better. So while she was here on earth, she ...
bloomed where she was planted
by helping others and doing
what she could with what she had.
She made cards to encourage others and for birthdays and other special events. We tied them on roses for her and then she gave them away.

When she was younger, her hands were steadier and she made colorful items from beads. After hearing a children's choir from India, she sponsored a girl from there. One key at a time, she wrote letters to send along with her support checks. She wrote a story for children about two cars that made a choice to have a good attitude, even when life wasn't good. We had the story illustrated and printed to give as gifts and/or sell, then Rosene used the money for her 'daughter' in India.
Dear Lord,  
You know exactly what I have to offer and it’s not much. I’ve been struggling with the circumstances of my life and sometimes that struggle has led me into some pretty dark moments. I’ve questioned you, I’ve doubted you, I’ve complained to you. I’ve scolded you. I’m amazed you still want to be friends, but I know you do. I’m getting the feeling that you want me to serve you in some way and that’s just crazy. There are so many others who can do much more for you - what could I possibly do? I’m wounded and spiritually limping. How can I show anyone else how to run this race? I’m willing to try, but it will have to be your power working, not mine.    
Your daughter,
Rose
That is TRUST!

She began walking and dancing last year on October 22nd. I found the prayer above on her computer after she passed away - it was written a few years ago. Tomorrow is my Winning Wednesday and I will give away a book I compiled with her writings after she passed away. You can preview the first 15 pages of the book on Blurb - leave a comment with your email address today or tomorrow and you will be entered in the drawing.

10 comments:

Janet Oberholtzer said...

From Darlene - i'm not sure if the comment i sent worked, but its for 4 your blog !! i am blessed by reading it!!:)

Helen said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

My mom doesn't have CP, but she does use a wheelchair because she can't walk anymore. She can't even stand. She gets put in the chair with a hoyer lift. But she is still such a blessing. She prays for others. She makes scarves, blankets, and hats for the needy. She listens compassionately. She does more to serve God in five minutes than many "able bodied" people do in a week! Still, sometimes she sees what she isn't doing because she can't and not what she does...

It seems to me that your sister did more to serve Him than she recognized, too.

katdish said...

Okay, Gaaa! I'm blubbering here...beautiful story. God truly does equip us with all we need to glorify Him, it's our job to figure out what that is I suppose.

IceMama said...

I previewed your book on Blurb and it is beautiful. You are doing wonderful things with your writings, Janet!
Cathy
cathyc19520@mac.com

Bridget Chumbley said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but what an example of Trust!

I am so glad to you shared this story!

R. Holloway said...

Bless your sister and you. Thank you for allowing us into your world.

Glynn said...

Beautiful story. And her life remains an encouragement to all of us. Thanks for sharing it.

Kevin said...

Praise God for such a faithful and beautiful witness of trust!

Anne L.B. said...

How you must miss your sister! But whatever void she's left in your life, Heaven is the richer to have her there. I have to think God just couldn't keep her away any longer. I'm glad to know she'll be one of the people waiting there for me. :D

shelly k said...

drat i missed entering this drawing! =(